Unexpected Answers

I would gladly take kidney stones again anyday over the horrid HSG experience I encountered yesterday.

I arrived at the hospital at 7:00 to register. From there, I went back to Radiology and waited for about 10 minutes before being called back. I was kind of bummed my sweet husband couldn't go back with me, when they called me back to change. From there, I went to the room the procedure would be done. My doctor ran about 45 minutes last so I struck up conversation with the Rad Tech. She was a success story; I always love hearing those! She had an HSG last October, with slightly blocked tubes. They were able to clear out with the dye during the procedure and she got her BFP in November. She was great to talk too!

So the doctor gets there, I'm anxiously awaiting on the table. I slide to the end.....spread, deep breath and there went the speculum. It's always uncomfortable for me, but manageable. They slide me back under the x-ray and from that point I really don't remember much other than I thought I was about to die. The pain that I experienced, is undescribable. My hands clamped on to the table while my midsection thrust up in the air, hoping the pain would stop. I was moaning in pain, I know. It. was. horrid. They kept telling me to breathe through it, it would be ok. This lasted for what I thought to be 2 minutes, which seems like hour when your in pain. They at that point explained to me that my tubes were blocked and they were trying to flush open with the dye. Before I could even breath from the first round, the pain was back, one last attempt to unclear my tubes. No luck.


I sat up, in tears. I was queezy and honestly, to the point of passing out. They were very sympathetic and ensured I was ok before going over the results. I was cramping SO bad at that point. It was just horrible.


Results: My left tube is 100% blocked. My right tube 90% blocked.


I never understood after 12 years of being with my husband and 10 years of activly pursuing a pregnancy, why they didn't do an HSG before my first IUI in July 2009. Especially after finding out these results, It kind of angered me for a split second. But instead of dwelling on the past, we decided to stop our current treatment [today is cd7 in which we were to start shots] and wait for a new cycle to start; surgery will be scheduled at that time. We are very, very happy and hopeful to have possibly identifed the main factor in our inability to conceive. Being diagnosed with Tubal Factor Infertility has a high success rate of conception, post-op, if there is no further damage to the tubes and the blockage can be removed. In fact, I read the rates are 60% within the 6-months following surgery. So, knowing we are going from 0% to 60% sounds awesome to us! We can begin trying again the first cycle post surgery, if I've recovered well.

So, that's where we are. Another short wait but we have more hope now that we've ever had.

HSG Scheduled

My HSG is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7:15. I'm so nervous. You Tube and Google doesn't do much for calming ones nerves. It's a quick procedure that I've heard leaves you painfully crampy for the day. I'll take it, though! This will bring any issues to light and "clear out the cobwebs" in my tubes. IUI's are most successful the first 3 months following an HSG. I'm taking the day off to rest tomorrow.

I'm excited.

One more step closer to starting our family.

Here we go....

So after a long 50 day cycle, including 5 days of Provera and a 4 day wait, my cycle finally arrived April 8th! I don't think I was ever so anxious for it to get here....and hope it's the last one for 9-months. ;)

I started Femara yesterday [cd 3-7] and will advance to Repronex, cd 8-10. My HSG is scheduled for Wednesday, depending on status of flow. Hopefully everything will be where it's supposed to be and normal and any tiny debris will be cleared out for a successful cycle. The IUI success rate is at it's highest within 3 months of an HSG. I'm hoping ♥ My IUI will be either next Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on follie maturity at Sunday's ultrasound.

We ordered our donor sperm today and I'll have my follie scan this Sunday. Last cycle I had 5 eggs, perfect lining and Progesterone was at it's highest. I hope I have 5 or more eggs this cycle as well. I'm so nervous. This journey is emotionally draining and my mind never stops. I'm either obsessing over the twinging in my ovaries, baby names, nursery themes. Wanting this soooooooooooooo bad, it's so hard not to have your every thought consumed. 

If you could say a little prayer for us, we would be so grateful.

♥

And we're off!

We are officially on our way to our 4th fertility treatment. The band has provided awesome, awesome results and with my weight loss - I feel comfortable to move forward. Hopefully it has reversed some, if not all, of the PCOS symptoms. I feel so, so confident this could be our month. What a wonderful 10th year wedding gift, a positive pregnancy test?! The gift of a precious baby! The beginning of a family....I'm so excited!

As protocol requires I had to take a pregnancy test last night in order to start Provera today, which will induce my cycle since I'm on cd41. It was negative, of course, and so the nurse called first thing this morning and had already phoned in my Rx to my pharmacy. I stopped in on the way to work and day 1 pill, success.

Our last treatment, which has been almost a year ago, I weighed 258.8. I've lost 25% of my weight and now weigh in at 198.3.


God leads our journey and knows our hearts desires. I pray it be his will to bless us with such an incredible gift. Amen.

Yes, I'm still alive.

So I probably have no followers left. Yikes! In the event I do, I hope all have been successful in your fertility journey. I have so much to catch up on.

What a wonderful year we've had. We are moving forward with our 4th fertility treatment as soon as my next cycle comes. April holds our 10th Wedding Anniversary and what a blessing it would be to get our BFP! I had Gastric Lapbanding the end of 2010 and have lost over 60 lbs. I am now in the 100s and am very hopeful that it will aid in our fertility journey.

I'm excited to see what God has in store for us.

dropping by to say hi

Sorry I went MIA; we've taken 2 months off after our last BFN :( We will start again next month, Lord willing. I am happy to report that this last month I had a perfect 28 day cycle ON MY OWN - which means for the first time in my life, I ovulated on my own! What a blessing!

Thanks for all the sweet comments and concerns; sorry I left everyone hanging. 

Looking forward to catching up next month! I hope everyone has had lovely months and many success stories; I really can't wait to get updated.

Third time our charm?

TTC update: We had our third (and hopefully last) IUI this morning; everything went wonderful. Our sperm count was 18million; which was wonderful for a donor purchase! That's the highest count we've had and are so excited! So far this cycle has had all good numbers! Hopefully my next two tests, P4 (6/1) and the Beta (6/8) will be perfect as well. This could be our month! The chance for a singleton with 5 follies/IUI are 50-60%; that's up from 10% with 1-2 follies.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths". Romans 3:5-6

Weigh in: I lost 3.6 lbs. my first week!

Feeling beachy: 7 days left; aaaah....i.cannot.wait.

holy, cheese!

TTC update: Briefly, this cycle was Femara, cd3-7 and Repronex 150mg cd 8-10. I had the longest AF cycle ever after arriving 2 days late post Beta due to Prometrium. Even on cd8 I was still spotting. But the Femara hadn't been making my ovaries twinge and cramp like it had my first 2 cycles. And even with the Repronex, I hadn't felt hardly any cramping at all; I didn't think it was working. I had my cd10 scan today (cd 11 fell on Saturday so it was one day early) and I have 5 (F-I-V-E) follies! To date, I've only had puney follies and at the most, 2 (last month was maybe 3). I am SO happy. So, So, So - happy! (Thank you, Lord!) I will take injections tonight and tomorrow and trigger on Sunday. My IUI is scheduled for Tuesday morning. I feel really good about this cycle. My doctor was very happy.

Weight Watchers: I have had a perfect week back on WW. I am down already but will officially weigh-in on Sunday. I'm very proud of me and happy I've finally found the motivation to do this!

I want my toes in the water.....

Lovely Weekend: Jay and I had a lovely, lovely weekend. Let's start with Friday. His birthday is June 3 and we found a super, awesome last-minute vacation deal for Myrtle Beach. (we were hoping for a gulf-coast destination, but we'll take this!). We leave on the 2nd and return the 6th. There will be no plans other than my butt. in a chair. on the beach. for 5 days. Awesome news...my Beta will be the 7th; what an awesome birthday present this would be! Saturday, J treated me to a Seafood place in Pigeon Forge and we ended up in North Carolina. It was a rainy day but even the rain doesn't take away from the beauty of the mountains. It was a perfect day. Yesterday, we went to church, had lunch, went grocery shopping, went to the movies, cleaned 2 rooms, went to the book store and still had time to take a nap! It was the longest day ever but was wonderful! I picked up the book Crazy Love. I had heard so much about it; I can't wait to read more tonight.

TTC update: AF showed up last week on Wednesday, so I didn't have to wait too long after my (-) Beta. I ordered my injectables on Tuesday and they weren't supposed to arrive until this week, Wednesday at the latest. Although we wanted to go with an injectable only cycle, with the shots not guaranteed to arrive by cd3 and my RE office not having enough to get me through to this Wednesday (when shots were supposed to arrive) we decided we would go with a mixed cycle this month and if I didn't have at least 3 plump follies, we would skip the IUI this month and go for an injectable only cycle next month. So, I started Femara cd 3-7 and will do 2 Repronex injectables daily in the hip, cd 8-10. My scan is this Friday, 5/21 (I can't believe it's here so soon) and my IUI should be this weekend. Here's the funny thing, my injectables actually got here Friday day, but the Post Office didn't send an email with the Attempted Delivery Notification until like 8:30 Friday evening. I had my RE paged and she said it was too late to start the injectable cycle. Next, I ordered our donor fishies today (my donor was available) and I got 1/2 shipping....that made for a happy surprise, especially after last months ordeal. Femara hasn't made me all twingy and crampy like the first 2 cycles did; so I am kind of nervous about that. Is it working? Do I still have eggs down there? Is this month going to be a flop? Not totally stressing over it but it's there in the back of my mind...I hope it's doing what it's supposed to be doing.

Beach Bound: If going to the beach in 15 days doesn't kick my arse into gear, I don't know what would. Not only am I so motivated to loose whatever is (healthy) humanly possibly to loose in 15 days I am equally as disappointed that I let my weight get this high. I'm discusted. Those 2lbs here and 1lbs there, have added up and I am not happy at all. In addition to the C25K program I am (attempting) to do (it kicks major butt if your are the C part of that equation) I rejoined WW; actually the online program this time. I'm not expecting a huge loss between now and when we set sail to the ocean, but any loss is better than gaining and it will make me feel better knowing I am on the right path. I lost 40ish the first time around on WW (2005), kept it off for over 3 years and since, nothing has worked. I just have to remain motivated...that's where I fail everytime. Not this time.....

Off to catch-up on your blogs. Have a blessed week.

just when I thought...

this was my month to get a BFP; turns out Prometrium can increase your LP. My beta was this morning - the Dr. called around noon. Turns out, my 2nd BFN. Yes, still no AF. Apparantly, when increased from 100mg to 200mg daily, your LP can be affected....this I did not know. I was so convinced....even the slight cramps I had been having I thought was normal...at least everyone in Google land said so....I was sad but didn't cry. Maybe I knew deep down it wasn't going to be my month. But...I am ready to wipe away the sadness and move foward. My therapy this month will be aggressive. We are moving straight to injectables by passing the mix-therapy (of both Femara and Injectibles). I am very happy with this. I don't want to dilly-dally. I would rather spend the extra $ and see results vs. playing around with lesser therapies. But, until next my next ultrasound, my next lab, my next Beta....faith will lead my journey. This wasn't my month; I am completely content with that. I am in God's hands.

7dpIUI Labs

My P4 levels came back 10.8. Yes, 6 points higher than my first IUI but not as pretty as I was hoping. My Prometrium was increased to 100mg twice daily.

My dr. wants a 15; so hoping this cycle, if implanted/going to implant will be viable until my Beta this next Monday. I've read a lot of success stories with lower P4's; so I'm not totally bummed just yet.

I met two lovely cysters this morning in the waiting room who had successful pregnancies on Femara/IUI. I want my successful cycle with Femara/IUI. Next week, we will have to move forward to injectables. I pray I will get my positive! I pray this will be my month!

Sent from Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

expensive tastes.

I don't understand how America can harp about our nation's obesity problem when a grocery bill more than doubles when you buy only healthy food. This was my experience today. In the event I get my BFP this month or in the effort to be healthier going forward to our 3rd cycle...we bought only things fresh or healthy and nutritious. Our bill, over $250. This includes fresh fruits and vegi's, seafood, whole grain rices and cereals, yogurt, etc., and enough for about 2 weeks. After our trip today, I see the climb in obesity not only related to our unhealthy choices, but how expensive it is to make better ones. I'm happy for a kitchen full of delicious and good-for-you foods but no so much the funds forked over in the process.

We still have plans to get a small garden out this summer. I need to nudge Jay a bit harder to make it happen. Produce is the most costly!

My P4 is bright and early in the morning. I've been on Prometrium since 1dpiui; I hope my numbers will be good. The dreaded two-week wait hasn't been horrible; almost 7 down...much better than the first time around!



Sent from Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

swim little fishies, swim!

Hi. Sadly, I am not writing from my cozy bed; duties called and I had to come into the office post-IUI. The last time I choose to lay down for hours afterwards; hopefully it doesn't really matter.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I have a lot to catch-up on as I didn't get much online time; I can't wait to catch up on my reading and my sweet comments. Thank you all!

So, IUI went wonderful. I got there at 8:00 and after our fishies were thawed and washed, I got called back around 10:15. The count was 15 million. I was very happy - last donor was 14 million. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on time after triggering Saturday night. Note: I don't think we triggered in the right place the 1st cycle, because it didn't hurt. This cycle did. I pray this month is our BFP - because we move on to injectibles next month and a shot for 10-days straight in the rear doesn't excite me. i'm kind of a baby to pain. But gladly anything for a little baby. I am to start Progesterone suppositories tomorrow night, 100mg and my P4 test will be 5/3 @ 7:45a. My Beta will be 5/10 @ 7:45.

Please disregard the horrible hair day! Given the circumstances, these photo's of me aren't very good but are needed to document our journey.

Pre-IUI; awaiting RE

swim little fishies, swim!

this is during the procedure.

I have happily entered the 2 week wait. Fortunantly, I have learned patience; hopefully, that will pay off.

some helpful info for the fertility folks!

I ran across this Q&A section on a website; it answered quite a bit of my questions:

I really might have, what?

Happiest Friday, to you! I'm enjoying the beautiful blue skies before yucky storms set in over the weekend. If you don't know me in real life, I am petrified [yes, still at the age of 30] of storms. And being caught in a tornadic storm a few years ago, it's only made things worse. I guess I'm almost embarassed to admit this fear, but we all have ours. Just to say, this doesn't work well because my Jay loves storms. Go figure.

Today is cd15. I woke up early this morning to tinkle and noticed there was no twinging, cramping, zilch, nada - going on down there, especially following a rather active day. Could I have actually ovulated, on my own? I am not set to trigger until tomorrow but I feel nothing. When I was getting ready this morning, I still felt nothing. There was a bit of CM during my early morning potty trip, but none now. I called my RE first thing and requested an u/s to see if indeed, I did ovulate. They called and had me run over for a bloodtest for more accuracy. I should know the test results this afternoon. Should I be happy I [may have] actually O'd on my own or bummed that we might not get to do our IUI cycle? I will not borrow worry; I will update as soon as I get the call.

It saddens me that so many other couples have to experience the IF journey. I am so thankful that we have such a wonderful support system through blogging. All lovely comments give me so much hope and encouragement; so thank you.

Have a beautiful weekend. I can't wait to catch up on reading your blogs. Wishing all success in weekend IUI cycles and positive results to those waiting.

*update: I didn't O on my own....trigger is scheduled for tomorrow night with my IUI Monday morning.

 

I think I am ok with this.

First of all, welcome ICLW! This is my first month participating. I am so excited to have found such a fabulous support group; it means the world to me. I look forward to visiting your pages and getting to know more about everyone.

My cd13 ultrasound went ok this morning. I have more eggs than I have EVER had which I am happy with. In addition to a bunch of small eggs, there were; however, only 3 [could be] dominant.  I have a 10mm and 12mm on my right side and a 12mm on my left. I will trigger on Saturday [which will bring all to about 16mm and 18mm) and my IUI will be Monday. My RE seemed to think the 10mm might not be ready, which confuses me....isn't 16mm good? Also, my lining was 6.5. (which is better than last cycle)

My husband is very optimistic. I maybe went in wanting more than I got; which sucks as I wanted to cry when I didn't hear "you have 5 x 18mm follies". I'm so unrealistic. What a weirdo. & being on Femara I know I am not going to get those results. I did that last time and set myself up for an emotional crash. But, I did have one more good follie this time and a bunch of small ones - in which last time, I only had 2, period. So I am happy with this. Jay is very, very optimistic - and I need that; he's so wonderful.

tomorrow is the big day.

I am on cd12 and I have not totally freaked out and obsessed over this current cycle. I think I actually [actually being stressed] learned patience from our last cycle. And for that, I am very proud.  Insert: pat on back. This doesn't come easy for me; I am the most impatient person in the world a very impatient person.

Tomorrow morning is cd13 ultrasound, I am sick-in-the-pit-of-my-tummy-nervous. What if all these twinges have been phantom? I'm pretty sure all the action going on down there has been very much real. In fact, I actually felt right side action, in which I have never, ever felt before....and pretty much daily on both sides, since about cd4. I am also happy to report EWCM. This is also a first for me....CM - always, EW, never.

Hopefully I will be reporting back a successful, lovely follie count on the 7.5mg dosage.

For now, I hope sleep will come tonight and the nerves stay bundled away.

perfect weekend.

hope everyone had a perfect weekend. Mine, was wonderful. Saturday night we had friends over for our first cookout of the season. The weather was perfect. The company was great. Sunday we spend most of the day at the in-laws. They live on a big farm; I love going over there!

Only 2 more days until my ultrasound; here's praying for an abundance of beautiful, plump follies! :)

o, guess what?

My little swimmers and my trigger shot arrived today; yay! I get excited over simple things; but these joys help make it through the nerves.

It is an absolutely gorgeous day. In fact, the past 5 days have been nothing but clear skies and sunny. What a beautiful break from the extra long, dreary winter we had. We've taken advantage and worked out in the yard all week. We planted 4 trees, some new flowers [sadly, by 3 hibiscus didn't survive the frigid winter], added a new rocking chair to the front porch, a new flag; all's came together beautifully. this weekend is supposed to be a bit cooler, so we might hit up our drive-in theater; that's such a fun spring/summer time venu to have locally.

Wishing everyone a lovely, spring weekend!

my obsession.

So i'm sitting here working my ass off today at the office and  feel every twinge my lower regions are making. and so i have came up with a philosophy that the Femara is at work making an uber amount of eggs and they are growing. that's what i feel.

this is one of the things that i hate the most; the over-analyzing-obsession i have that seems to come along with TTC. last cycle i drove myself crazy. so much to the point that i was so devistated that we werent pregnant i had to take a 8-month hiatus. this is obsurd. i can't even work for blogging, writing on message boards, asking Dr. Google, searching BFP stories. it's a crazy never ending cycle.

im sure my employer would not appreciate this. but, sorry - i'm addicted.

how do you cope with consuming your every.waking.moment with research. or, are you in the same boat?